Tranquil Life : Things that Matter...

Have you ever wondered in spite of having everything a good job, a big house, latest car...still you feel like something is missing ,you feel lonely and nothing matters ...you question every thing around you even your existence ...value of your life...

I have ... 

that is when I realized in spite of having all material things all i wanted was a tranquil and peaceful life...

life will not go on forever there will come a day when nothing will matter there will no longer be the sunshine's in life. that is why we need to focus on things that matter....

This will happen when we re shift the focus in our life from momentary things to more stable things...things that bring contentment in life leading to a peaceful and tranquil existence..

too often we either feel bitter about past or get stuck worrying about the future and forget what matters is only this moment : NOW

To have a peaceful life we need to understand on what do we lay foundation of our life.

we generally create our self worth and self concept on : how talented we are, how good looking are we, how articulate or knowledgeable  are we  therefore what matters to us is a good job, our success, our popularity, appearance, body type ,our sexuality, our gender, our possessions, what others think of us,

This understanding of self is very superficial and that is why when these things get effected we feel less confident, worthless and our self esteem is shattered as a result what do we overcompensate on one aspect of our life...but when that also is over or fades away....

The question returns....

WHAT MATTERS THE MOST?

We will know the purpose of life once we realize what maters is our belief, values, attitude, how we treat people around us , efforts we put in our relationships, habits we form and how honest we are.

For tranquil life we need to place our confidence on our true self and understand that we need to be more grounded on how we see our self and shift our focus on these things which matter as they make us more authentic and genuine towards our self and others.

Mahatma Gandhi has said:

"Your belief become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your action, your action become your habit, your habit becomes your value ,your value becomes your destiny."

Things that matter the most are things we do not see the love we share, our purpose in life, inner peace, our relationships, our comfort with others....

Till next time take care and be safe...

 

balance your life - Acceptance and Change

Carl Rogers has said

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am then I can change."

these are two very positive yet in sync aspect of life...to understand acceptance and change we need to break the misguided belief that...

If we accept things we Refuse to change"...

If you focus too much on changing your emotions, thoughts and situation you can have a personality crisis  and if you accept blindly you can become too complaint. for meaningful life and to have positive change we need to create a balance ....

Balance between good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, This balance between opposite forces creates foundation for acceptance and change. by creating this balance we acknowledge the reality of the situation but also agree upon the willingness to do something about it...

it is like standing on the balance board you will struggle and shift to create the balance but once you achieve it - that is when change happens you now work towards maintaining balance. more you practice ,check with yourself better will be your balance.

Acceptance and change are powerful tools and to find your balance can help you transform your life.

To know what to accept and what to change we need to shift our perspective from acceptance OR change to acceptance AND change.

In this shift we first accept in order to create change. We accept our thoughts ,feelings and situations as they are then we learn new coping skills to manage our situation and bring change in our thinking ,emotions and situation.

 Example :

 From acceptance or change: ' I hate I'm so depressed there is something wrong with me I need to fix myself.

To acceptance and change: ' my feeling of depression are part of me right now ,I'm frustrated that i feel this way, but  I know i can learn skills to manage it.

Its easy to accept what we need to and understand what best can be changed.

by accepting we let go of the pain, bitterness and focus on making a positive ,proactive plan for change,.

Today I leave you with serenity prayer by American Theologist  Reinhold Niebuhr....

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change,

   Courage to change the things I can and

   Wisdom to know the difference....

till next time take care and stay safe...

happiness and self

Some one long back had shared with me that 'U' and 'I' are very important letters, as there cant be smile without 'I' and Success can not be without 'U' nor can you laugh without 'U'....therefore lets join 'U' &;I' to create our own sky. In todays time it is very important that we reach out and stay connected.

Happiness and self are very closely related it is important that in searching happiness we search ourselves. sometimes we are are looking for acceptance and companionship but we forget that most important part of this journey is ourselves...

All of us have our stories and believe me we are the STARS of our story we might not feel like one ,but that's just because we have not accepted ourselves . Open your arms and say it loud...

"I am the Star of my story"

only once we acknowledge our selves will we acknowledge others in our life.

What is happiness? why to we crave for it or search for it?

Is it a feeling, fleeting experience, skipping of heartbeat,  state of mind, our way of thinking or just an attitude.

in my opinion happiness is smile which comes on our face in any situation....That smile gives you hope ,a sense of belonging, courage, joy....smile just happens. however difficult our life may be smile is an indicator that we can take baby steps towards a happy self....it gives you courage to take that first step towards change.

So how do we be happy?

believe in the wonders of life however small it may be ...see the magic feel the miracle of the life...look at a sleeping baby, gaze at the stars, feel the sunshine...experience an act of kindness...All this is happiness...

See the good around you celebrate little victories and joys in life let go of things remember nothing is permanent its just a phase which will pass...

Happiness is not having achieve certain things like a good house, best car ,job...but happiness is knowing that journey will be difficult but I am not perfect and that is good enough.it is being at peace with your imperfection...this is acceptance which will lead to happiness not momentary joy or satisfaction but meaningful satisfaction.

Believe in three "P's' of life POURPOUSE, PLEASURE & PASSION.

Have a purpose for your self let go of past focus on now , we all have a purpose in life we need to find it and work on it.

have Passion for little things in life ,learn new skill, move on make space for yourself.

look for small pleasures in life, enjoy every moment of it and be content ...

let this be your guide for handmade happiness...

Walt Disney said:

"Happiness is state of mind. It's just according to the way you look at things."

till next time ...take care and be safe....

Do Not Panic...All Is Well...

Here’s what you need to know and do in the next few days:
# All banks will remain closed for public work on November 9.
# Deposit currently used notes of Rs 500 and Rs 1000 in post office accounts or banks by December 30, 2016. There will be no limit on the deposit amounts.
# Exchange old notes of Rs 500 and Rs 1000 at any bank, head post office or sub post office by showing ID proof. The limit for this is Rs 4000 upto Nov 24.
# There’ll be a limit on withdrawal of Rs 10,000 per day and Rs 20,000 per week. This limit will be increased in the coming days.
# No restrictions of any kind on non-cash payments by cheques, demand drafts, debit or credit cards and electronic fund transfers.
# Rs 500 and Rs 1000 will cease to be legal tender from the midnight of November 8, 2016.
# On Nov 9 and in some places on Nov 10, 2016, ATMs will not work.
# For 72 hours, these places and institutions will continue to accept Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes for payment:
--Government hospitals will continue to accept old Rs 500, Rs 1000 notes for payment.
--Rrailway ticket booking counters, ticket counters of government buses and airline ticket counters at airports will accept old notes for purchase of tickets.
--Petrol, diesel and gas stations authorised by public sector oil companies
--Consumer co-operative stores authorised by state or central government.
--Milk booths authorised by state governments
--Crematoria and burial grounds

Promise....

What is a promise …?

Promise to love to be together or promise to serve with pride…

Promise that stole a heart or a promise that is to save and protect…

Promise to be together forever or a promise to sacrifice everything forever…

Promise to hold on when things get difficult or promise to let go when choices are difficult…

Why do I feel the pain of every broken promise yet not from the choices?

What is a promise…?

Promise to give one’s life protecting faces or promise to come back to face we love…

Promise to be there for every birthday party or promise to be there for next anniversary…

Promise never to walk away or promise to hold on…

Promise of rising sun or promise of dusty roads..

Why do I not cry on every unanswered question yet on every answer?

What is a promise…?

Promise to love, promise wait, promise to smile, promise to share or promise to carry on …

Promise to sacrifice, promise to honor, promise to camaraderie, promise to an oath or promise to uniform…

Why do I keep them close to my heart yet close my heart to these promises?

What is a promise…?

Promise to keep up with pride in my every stride…

 Promise I made to a man and his uniform,

Promise that whenever a promise is broken my tears will have pride, my heart will have courage and my life will be honored…

Promise to see joy in lives I don’t know, smiles on faces I never met…

Promise for a smiling face, promise of a warm hug, promise to be back…

I now know promise is hope, promise is love, promise is being together even when apart, promise is my wait to see my soldier in uniform…

Ode to Army wives....

Hi all
 I wrote this poem for AWWA journal on celebrating 50 yrs..
This poem is for all young girls who marry men in uniform and become most efficient,independent,multitask master and who know nothing in life is permanent ....this is for these beautiful army wives and the organization which has grown over the years...memories of an organization...AWWA
     
              MEMORIES

I look into the mirror watching me grow,
I stand on my toe, I know who with me grow...
My memories are gift of toughest times,
For part of me has always mourned death of dreams which did not go alone ...
Beautiful memories have guided me,
Unseen,unheard but always near,never to part all along...
Million precious memories grow with me
Celebrating,nurturing ,transforming ...
Brides into army wives,dreams into reality,
Strangers into friends,house into home,
Hope for today is brighter tomorrow ...
I look into the mirror, as I grow,
 celebrating fifty years of togetherness...
Is me AWWA with Asha,Vishwas and Astha.

Till next time...
Take Care...

Moving on .....

My last post was in 2012....its now been almost 3 years since.... I have written anything on this blog,its not like I have not written or  did not want to write.... its just that life was teaching me new lessons and I was learning to cope with what was happening and has taken me this much time to evolve and come back to being me again... some body had once said to me life takes your exam first and then gives you lesson....this was exactly what was happening to me...

I underwent surgery which developed complications....was in ICU for a while and it took three months in hospital to recover and rehabilitate my self ....overcame this is when had few personal tragedies ....which I rather not talk about...in between all this underwent three IVF treatment...may be time was not right for us to be parents so...this is when  we (me and KK) decided...kk my husband...lets move on we are just getting trapped in the vicious cycle....We decided to move on .....moved to a new place started studying again...slowly life was coming back with the lesson...cliched but true...Let go and move on...

So after all this happening in past I have moved on and today restarting and writing on my blog again...with aim to help me be my self again and just enjoy what I do...

happy to be back and writing....

Till next time ....

take care and be safe...