Everyone keeps saying let go and move on …past is past …look at good things you have in life ..count your blessings…
Well all that is ok, it's understandable and agreeable also …but is it so easy to break away from memories….
No it is not …
That is why it is so annoying when people say you need to Move on …you think the person struggling does not know this…they are trying give them that benefit of doubt.
The toughest thing is to overcome that anger, the person has towards themselves.
Anger is just a the secondary emotion or cover up, primary emotions here that are effecting and being triggered are that of wide range from guilt to shame to fear to helplessness to feeling lonely.
These primary emotions which a person tries to hide are coming from the basic need for safety, respect, acceptance , love. When these are effected or hampered one feels threatened.
These triggers makes the whole process of letting go and move on so difficult.
Internally when these triggers interact with memories it creates a lot of pain and hurt. All these feelings and emotions lead to unhealthy attachment and dependency.
Difficulty is in breaking away from such attachment and moving on is impossible because we fear freedom and letting go is tough tough because we are too scared to let go of things we are so used to of.
Letting go is difficult because we have to give up the identity we have and rebuild our self and our emotional boundries.
Our own limiting beliefs hold us from moving on because we let them define who we are.
What we try to do is we still try to control things around us or people around us in hope that things will be fine.
Many times you feel staying and holding on to is easier and you feel invested in the relationship.
The whole thought process that “ A known devil is better than an unknown an Angel”.
We romanticize the whole relationship and situation to look at the good in it and then we forget the bad in it easily.
Once this happens we ourselves feel letting go is not an option.
The whole thought process that “ It is easier to break things but it takes effort to build”.
Being alone is a scary and has lot of unfamiliar aspect for many and to avoid this we choose not to move on and let go to settle for something that is known and familiar.
So next time you feel you are not able to make a decision consider this and give yourself a chance.
It's a difficult process but not impossible….
