Seven Mistakes in Goal Setting

 Our goals are our guiding principles they help us achieve what we aim for in life. Our goals determine how we outline the vision of our life, Based on our vision we create our long term goals ,medium term goals and our short term goals. These goals motivates us to work harder and makes us responsible for ourselves. these goals form hierarchy and fulfillment of one leads to fulfillment of another....

So where do we go wrong in our goal planning???

When we set unhealthy expectation in setting goals we create complication. At times we know what we don't want rather than what we want ,this creates  confusion and loose the plot...

There are seven mistakes we generally make unknowingly in goal setting that causes problem and stops us from achieving our goal. understanding these mistakes helps us be responsible and accountable for our actions.

Not writing down your goals 

it is very important that we write down our goals. only when we write them down do we actually acknowledge them and work towards them. when we write our goals down we frame them in a positive manner and check how they can change our current situation and help us refocus on things that are important. Always write down your goals.

Having unclear motives

Sometimes we are very vague in our goals because we are not clear what our motives are. why are we setting these goals and what do we want to achieve. have a clear motive based on your expectations and priorities in life.

Setting unrealistic goals

Another major mistake which we do is set unrealistic goals only focusing on one aspect of what we plan to achieve and forget the long term requirement of it. we over compensate on one aspect and ignore others which leads to unclear motives and as a result we feel devastated and give up when we cant achieve it.

Not having a plan

when we base our goals on our feeling than on action we loose focus. this is the mistake which derails our efforts as we look at our goals from emotional perspective than practical one. To be able to achieve our goals we need to move from feelings to action only then can we have a tangible and realistic plan to work on.

Not taking Action

One of the major sins in goal setting is procrastination or delay that we make in taking action towards our goals. It is very important to take action without delay  because that determines our own commitment to change and growth. when we don't take action we loose focus and do not move ahead, this leads to giving up on ourselves and on our life's vision.

Losing Focus

Next mistake that we make is we loose focus after a while this happens when our motives are not clear and our goals are not in tune with our core values. when our priorities are not clear and we don't have a plan we loose focus and our goals remain unfinished. we need to regularly work and have ourselves responsible and accountable for our goals.

Lack of or No follow up

At times we do not follow up or follow through our plan due to which we are never able to work on our goals. Lack of or no follow up creates a gap which is difficult to fill and we get lost and give up on our own goals just moving through life aimlessly. 

Be careful of these mistakes these are the reasons why we fail. Understanding these mistakes helps us create balance and work proactively towards our goals.

Next time you plan your goals keep these in mind...

Till next time take care ...

RESPECT YOUR CHILD

Most of the parents complain that the child does not listen and does what is not to be done.

 Why this disobedience? Is what parents want to know?

Answer is right in front of you; all you need to do is look at it.

Most of us adopt parenting style our parents used, what our friends share and today as more aware parents what we read. But the truth is to make your child understand and listen to what you have say is to listen to him and understand the child’s view.

Child’s view? Now what’s that?

His world, perspective, his thoughts and his sphere of thinking …..In short his World

Yes, once you enter his world you will know what he wants and how to talk to him to make him know your world.

Most of us are aware about these things….all we need to do is improvise

So let’s start talking to our children so that they listen…. Always remember the trick is to keep things as simple as you can and be brief there is no need to ramble and talk too much to confuse self and the child. As far as possible use single sentences and easy words so that children can remember and follow what you are trying to say.

It’s very important to observe how kids communicate between themselves and you will automatically see the loopholes and where you are missing things. It’s important to connect with the child so that they understand what you want to say. Best way to connect is make eye contact with the child, address the child directly and create an open path by the way of your body language.

How do we create open communication?  What is open communication? Parents are often very perplexed about this.

Well open communication means giving your child authority to speak their mind and not be held for what they say. That does not mean they can say anything….this implies giving them opportunity to learn responsible communication.

To make this effective you need to create emotional equilibrium so that you and your child is on the same space. Let the child know it’s ok to be upset and disturbed but what is important is how you say it. You need to be a patient listener let your child complete his thoughts because if you become adult at this point you are creating that barrier and then you need to deal with the tantrum because child will ultimately say what he wants to, you need to decide how….

Little bit of listening, little bit of care and lots of understanding will help you understand your child better and communicate with them…..well there is no written rules of parenting it’s ok to be wrong and accept it…. that teaches the child to be real because ultimately he needs to learn to be real in this world.

 So start listening and happy parenting…..

Till next time cheers :)

Tranquil Life : Things that Matter...

Have you ever wondered in spite of having everything a good job, a big house, latest car...still you feel like something is missing ,you feel lonely and nothing matters ...you question every thing around you even your existence ...value of your life...

I have ... 

that is when I realized in spite of having all material things all i wanted was a tranquil and peaceful life...

life will not go on forever there will come a day when nothing will matter there will no longer be the sunshine's in life. that is why we need to focus on things that matter....

This will happen when we re shift the focus in our life from momentary things to more stable things...things that bring contentment in life leading to a peaceful and tranquil existence..

too often we either feel bitter about past or get stuck worrying about the future and forget what matters is only this moment : NOW

To have a peaceful life we need to understand on what do we lay foundation of our life.

we generally create our self worth and self concept on : how talented we are, how good looking are we, how articulate or knowledgeable  are we  therefore what matters to us is a good job, our success, our popularity, appearance, body type ,our sexuality, our gender, our possessions, what others think of us,

This understanding of self is very superficial and that is why when these things get effected we feel less confident, worthless and our self esteem is shattered as a result what do we overcompensate on one aspect of our life...but when that also is over or fades away....

The question returns....

WHAT MATTERS THE MOST?

We will know the purpose of life once we realize what maters is our belief, values, attitude, how we treat people around us , efforts we put in our relationships, habits we form and how honest we are.

For tranquil life we need to place our confidence on our true self and understand that we need to be more grounded on how we see our self and shift our focus on these things which matter as they make us more authentic and genuine towards our self and others.

Mahatma Gandhi has said:

"Your belief become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your action, your action become your habit, your habit becomes your value ,your value becomes your destiny."

Things that matter the most are things we do not see the love we share, our purpose in life, inner peace, our relationships, our comfort with others....

Till next time take care and be safe...