balance your life - Acceptance and Change

Carl Rogers has said

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am then I can change."

these are two very positive yet in sync aspect of life...to understand acceptance and change we need to break the misguided belief that...

If we accept things we Refuse to change"...

If you focus too much on changing your emotions, thoughts and situation you can have a personality crisis  and if you accept blindly you can become too complaint. for meaningful life and to have positive change we need to create a balance ....

Balance between good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, This balance between opposite forces creates foundation for acceptance and change. by creating this balance we acknowledge the reality of the situation but also agree upon the willingness to do something about it...

it is like standing on the balance board you will struggle and shift to create the balance but once you achieve it - that is when change happens you now work towards maintaining balance. more you practice ,check with yourself better will be your balance.

Acceptance and change are powerful tools and to find your balance can help you transform your life.

To know what to accept and what to change we need to shift our perspective from acceptance OR change to acceptance AND change.

In this shift we first accept in order to create change. We accept our thoughts ,feelings and situations as they are then we learn new coping skills to manage our situation and bring change in our thinking ,emotions and situation.

 Example :

 From acceptance or change: ' I hate I'm so depressed there is something wrong with me I need to fix myself.

To acceptance and change: ' my feeling of depression are part of me right now ,I'm frustrated that i feel this way, but  I know i can learn skills to manage it.

Its easy to accept what we need to and understand what best can be changed.

by accepting we let go of the pain, bitterness and focus on making a positive ,proactive plan for change,.

Today I leave you with serenity prayer by American Theologist  Reinhold Niebuhr....

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change,

   Courage to change the things I can and

   Wisdom to know the difference....

till next time take care and stay safe...

happiness and self

Some one long back had shared with me that 'U' and 'I' are very important letters, as there cant be smile without 'I' and Success can not be without 'U' nor can you laugh without 'U'....therefore lets join 'U' &;I' to create our own sky. In todays time it is very important that we reach out and stay connected.

Happiness and self are very closely related it is important that in searching happiness we search ourselves. sometimes we are are looking for acceptance and companionship but we forget that most important part of this journey is ourselves...

All of us have our stories and believe me we are the STARS of our story we might not feel like one ,but that's just because we have not accepted ourselves . Open your arms and say it loud...

"I am the Star of my story"

only once we acknowledge our selves will we acknowledge others in our life.

What is happiness? why to we crave for it or search for it?

Is it a feeling, fleeting experience, skipping of heartbeat,  state of mind, our way of thinking or just an attitude.

in my opinion happiness is smile which comes on our face in any situation....That smile gives you hope ,a sense of belonging, courage, joy....smile just happens. however difficult our life may be smile is an indicator that we can take baby steps towards a happy self....it gives you courage to take that first step towards change.

So how do we be happy?

believe in the wonders of life however small it may be ...see the magic feel the miracle of the life...look at a sleeping baby, gaze at the stars, feel the sunshine...experience an act of kindness...All this is happiness...

See the good around you celebrate little victories and joys in life let go of things remember nothing is permanent its just a phase which will pass...

Happiness is not having achieve certain things like a good house, best car ,job...but happiness is knowing that journey will be difficult but I am not perfect and that is good enough.it is being at peace with your imperfection...this is acceptance which will lead to happiness not momentary joy or satisfaction but meaningful satisfaction.

Believe in three "P's' of life POURPOUSE, PLEASURE & PASSION.

Have a purpose for your self let go of past focus on now , we all have a purpose in life we need to find it and work on it.

have Passion for little things in life ,learn new skill, move on make space for yourself.

look for small pleasures in life, enjoy every moment of it and be content ...

let this be your guide for handmade happiness...

Walt Disney said:

"Happiness is state of mind. It's just according to the way you look at things."

till next time ...take care and be safe....